It's Friday. Sex?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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