well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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