Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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