Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
