why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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