my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
only you would photoshop your dick
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
