The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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