you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
