We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
