You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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