i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
