Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
