Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
