I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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