then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Hippo gnu deer
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
