so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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