it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
