I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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