she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
