haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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