i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
