He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
