you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
