Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
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