"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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