That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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