when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
