After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
