Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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