and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
