your parents love me but you hate me
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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