so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
