walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
im holly from the hills drunk
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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