bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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