I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
