btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
