I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
