he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
