He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I want her autograph on my taint
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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