Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
