Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
