I skipped work to stalk him.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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