haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
