I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
