I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
