Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
