Non-Jews are for practice
Screwed.edu
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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