I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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