how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
