you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
