We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
