Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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