I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
