Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
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