How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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