Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
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I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
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! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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