OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
