ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
