Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize