Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
