Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
God I need to hump something, right now.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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