No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
