the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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