idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
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we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
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That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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